


Broken Boys

by Angelwithwingsoffire



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of self-harm, implications of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 19:43:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2594039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac has a nightmare and Derek comes in to make sure he is okay. They end up talking and some feelings come to light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Boys

Isaac woke up coated in a cold sweat. He listened carefully for Derek’s heartbeat next door and listened for a long moment to assure himself that the other wolf was okay. Isaac took several deep breaths, trying to rein in his heartbeat, which was pounding out of control. He’d had another nightmare.

“Isaac?” He heard from the room next door. Fuck. He’d woken Derek up. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Isaac called back, knowing Derek would hear the lie, if not from his heart than from the shake in his voice. He sighed inwardly as he heard the creak of springs that marked Derek getting out of bed. He tried to compose himself as well as he could before the door was opening and Derek was standing there.

“You okay?” Derek repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. Isaac tried to ignore the way the position made Derek’s muscles strain against the ratty tee-shirt he was wearing.

Isaac nodded and smiled, trying to look okay despite the truth being exact opposite. “I’m fine.”

Derek sighed and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. “You’re not. I know you’re now. You know how I know you’re not?”

“Hm?” Isaac hummed, still trying his best to control his heartbeat.

“I know because you’re rubbing that scar on your wrist you keep hidden during the day and hope no one notices.” Derek stated. “And I know you only do that when you’ve had a nightmare. So I know you’re not okay. Do you need to talk?” Derek’s gotten a lot better with his words since the alpha pack rolled through town. He’s actually opened up to his pack and they’ve all gotten close. Isaac had moved back in with him under the guise of wanting to be closer to his alpha, but really he just wanted to be near Derek. And Derek had apologized for what he did in such a broken puppy-dog way that Isaac had to forgive him.

Isaac didn’t look at Derek. He couldn’t. He didn’t want Derek to see him like this.

Derek sighed and reached out to grab and squeeze Isaac’s ankle. “Isaac. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me. I’m sure one of the others will talk to you. But you do need to talk to someone. It helps. Trust me.”

Isaac glanced at him. “Do you talk to people? About your nightmares?”

Derek looked surprised.

“I can hear you muttering in your sleep.” Isaac explained. “Begging someone not to hurt ‘them’. Do you talk to people?”

Derek nodded. “I’ve started talking to Melisaa. She listens well and I know she won’t tell anyone else if I ask her not to. Maybe you can talk to her too.”

Isaac shook his head. “She isn’t the kind of person who would understand these nightmares.”

“Well then pick one of the pack who would.” Derek told him. “Bottling everything up doesn’t work. Trust me, I tried.”

Isaac smiled a little. “Will you promise not to tell the others?” He asked softly.

Derek looked a little surprised that Isaac chose him but nodded quickly. “Absolutely. I won’t tell anyone unless it endangers someone else.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Then I won’t tell anyone.” Derek promised.

Isaac nodded. “It’s Camden. And Dad. And the kanima. And the Darach. And the alpha pack. They rotated through.”

“What do they do?”

“Attack me and-” Isaac cut himself off. He can’t say that.

“You and who?” Derek asked.

“Someone I care a lot about.” Isaac whispered.

“Okay.” Derek accepted the answer easily. “What happens?”

“It’s different for them all. With Camden he’s ignoring me, or laughing at me, or yelling at me. Calling me a monster and saying I’m not his brother any more. That I can’t be. That his brother would never be such a monster.”

“Well that’s not true at all.” Derek smiled. “I remember your brother. And how much he loved you. I can’t believe he’d care that much about you being a werewolf.”

Isaac nodded, not bothering to correct Derek for his small mistake and instead continuing. “With Dad it’s…it’s bad. He’s throwing things at us, screaming all sorts of abuse and hatred and I can’t stand in front of them, I can’t protect them from the glasses, the forks, the _knives_. I can’t do anything to protect them. I want to move, to get in front of them and block them from my dad but I can’t move and I have to watch them cry and scream in pain as thing after thin hits them because Dad’s aiming at them, screaming that they’re the reason I’m such a disappointment and a failure and they’re crying and _I can’t help them_!” Isaac was nearly in hysterics by the time he stopped to take a breath, tears on his face.

Derek rushed forward, moving to sit beside Isaac and pulled him into his arms, tucking Isaac’s face under his chin. He just held Isaac for a long moment, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Isaac’s back before he spoke. “I know how those are.” He whispered. “I’ve had them before and they aren’t fun. But your dad is gone and he isn’t going to be hurting anyone ever again. He can’t get to you. And he can’t get to this other person either. They’re safe. You’re safe. Everything’s okay.”

Isaac nodded. “I told you these were stupid nightmares. I’m such an idiot for letting them get to me.” He muttered, pulling away from Derek. Derek let him go but shook his head.

“You’re not an idiot.” Derek told him. “Love is a crazy thing and it makes us a little crazy sometimes. But we just have to hold on and everything will end up alright.”

Isaac smiled a little. “Cam used to tell me that.”

Derek smiled at the whispered words. “Your brother was a smart man. It takes brain to realize that love is the most powerful emotion out there. People have started wars for love before.”

Isaac nodded, looking a little better at the reminder of good times with his bbrother before Camden left.

“Do you want to keep talking or do you want to go back to sleep?” Derek asked gently.

“Can I keep talking?” Isaac asked meekly. “You’re right, it feels good to get it off my chest.”

Derek smiled. “Of course. I’m all ears.”

Isaac took a deep breath. “With the kanima it’s a lot like with Dad. The kanima got me and I’m paralyzed but they’re still okay and I have to watch the kanima crawl towards them and they look so scared and they’re calling for my help and I can’t move and I can’t speak and I can’t even close my eyes as the kanima attacks and they don’t stop screaming. They just keep screaming. And then I wake up and I still feel like I can’t move and my entire body is filled with fear that it wasn’t a dream. That they really did die and everything since was a dream.”

“How do you make yourself feel better?” Derek asked. “How do you convince yourself that they really are okay?”

Isaac hesitated for a moment, unable to say the real reason before he thought about it for a split second and then leaned over to grab his phone. He unlocked it and showed Derek the background, a picture of the whole pack together and smiling and happy and safe.

Derek smiled. “That’s a good picture.”

“It helps with all the dreams.” Isaac whispered. “The others are basically that but with all the other monsters and enemies we’ve faced. And every time I wake up hoping and praying with everything I have in me that you’re alright.”

Derek froze in shock.

Isaac froze, realizing what he said. “Shit. Derek I-”

“Me?” Derek cut him off. “I’m the one you care about?”

Isaac nodded hesitantly, knowing he could lie but also knowing Derek would know if he did so.

Derek didn’t say anything for a long moment and then lunged forward again, wrapping Isaac in a tight hug.

“Derek?” Isaac asked, confused but totally willing to go along with this.

Derek pulled away with a smile on his face. “I care about you too.”

“Really?” Isaac asked, looking as shocked as Derek had a few moments before. “Why?”

Derek rolled his eyes and took Isaac’s face in his hands. “Because you are beautiful.”

“Boys aren’t beautiful.” Isaac said automatically. He’d had those words pounded into him plenty of times growing up.

“They are to.” Derek told him. “Because you are the most beautiful boy I’ve ever met. I picked you for a reason. You’re brave. You’re smart. You’re kind. You’re willing to put yourself between a threat and someone you care about with no thoughts as to your own pain. You’re beautiful. And you have no idea who fucking hard it’s been to listen to you have these nightmares at least three times a week since you moved in. Although it has gotten significantly easier to calm down after my own dreams about you getting hurt when your heartbeat is right over here for me to listen to.”

Isaac smiled a little, ducking his head.

“I’m being serious.” Derek said. “You can ask Melissa if you think I’m lying. Nearly all of my nightmares about something trying to hurt you, or you and the rest of the pack, but mostly just you. And those that aren’t are about you hating my guts and telling me all about how you could never love me and I made you a monster and all that…” Derek trailed off as Isaac looked back up at him.

“You really think that?” Isaac whispered. “That I could ever hate you?”

Derek shrugged. “I threw a glass at you and made you remember a father you took the bite to get away from.”

“Exactly. I took the bite to get away from him. But I can never do that because he raised me and his views are engrained in me. I was raised thinking guys that like other guys were monsters and horrible demons.”

“That’s what you were talking about when you said Camden and your dad were calling you a monster. And your dad was blaming me for making you that way.”

Isaac nodded meekly. “Camden shared dad’s view on that stuff. Both of them hated gays. And anyone else who wasn’t a traditional, man and woman couple. I just went along with it but I could never agree. Not knowing that I was bi and trying to hide the whole liking guys thing from them. They’d have both disowned me if they knew.”

“You’re not a monster for being bi.” Derek whispered. “Nothing those dream people say can affect you. You are not a monster. You are a werewolf. And you are bi. You are not a monster.”

Isaac smiled at him. “So what now?”

“Whatever you want.” Derek told him. “I’ll go with whatever you want.”

“Can I kiss you?” Isaac asked quietly, blushing.

Derek smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

Isaac and Derek both grinned as they kissed slowly. When they pulled away Isaac lunged back forward and hugged Derek tightly. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Derek asked, hugging Isaac back.

“Helping.” Isaac answered.

Derek smiled and tucked his face into Isaac’s neck. “I’m here whenever you need me. Whether I’m awake or not. Will you wake me up next time?”

Isaac shrugged.

Derek pulled away and looked at Isaac. “Isaac.”

“I can’t promise you anything.” Isaac sighed. “But I can promise to try.”

Derek moved his hand to Isaac’s wrist, covering the scar he was rubbing earlier. “I know this isn’t from one of your dad’s beatings.”

Isaac pulled his hand away, ducking his head.

Derek reached down and pulled the waistband of his sweatpants. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and he graciously ignored Isaac’s heart skipping but he kept himself covered as he turned his hip forward so Isaac could see the seven scars running down Derek’s thigh. “I know because I have these.” He whispered quietly.

Isaac reached out and then pulled his hand back.

Derek reached out and grabbed Isaac’s wrist, pulling it in to run Isaac’s fingers over the raised lines.

“How did you-?” Isaac asked, cutting the question off.

“Wolfsbane blade.” Derek told him. “I got it off a witch in New York. The metal’s imbued with it. It can hurt and scar me just as good as any normal blade could do to a human.”

“Why?” Isaac whispered.

“I killed my family.” Derek whispered. “I let Kate in and I let her find out how to kill them and gave her the opportunity. I felt guilty.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. Now. I didn’t then.” Derek rubbed one of the scars. “Each one is for the family I lost. Mom. Dad. Cora. Cedric. Elain. Maria. Eric.”

“Who were they?” Isaac asked softly.

“You know Cora. Cedric was our little brother.” Derek smiled at the memories. “He was only six.”

Isaac took Derek’s hand and squeezed it tight, hearing the pain in his voice.

Derek smiled at him a little before continuing. “Elain was Peter’s wife. She was the most amazing cook ever and was always smiling. She balanced Peter out really well. Maria and Eric were their kids.”

“They sound like a good family.”

Derek nodded.  “They were. We were. We were happy and safe and everything was okay.”

“I still miss my mom sometimes.” Isaac whispered. “Well all the time really. She was the only one who knew I was bi. I cried for months after she died.”

“That’s when this happened?” Derek asked, brushing his fingers over Isaac’s wrist again.

Isaac nodded. “She died in a car crash and I didn’t even get to say goodbye and Dad called me a girl for crying all the time. That’s when the abuse started. Just verbal at first. But when Camden left for the service he started in on the physical and there wasn’t anything I could do. I cried myself to sleep for months wishing I had my mom back.”

Derek pulled his pants back up to his hip and covered Isaac’s scar with his hand. “Scars are scars and we will always carry them. They remind us that the past was real. That it happened. And they remind us that we survived. We’re still here. We’re still breathing. We may not be perfect, but imperfection is what makes someone perfect. We’ve both gone through hell. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to have nightmares. WE can’t forget the past but we don’t have to let it control us. Your dad is gone. The kanima and the Darach and the alpha pack are all gone. But we’re still here. We’re okay.”

Isaac smiled and leaned into Derek again the two of them both falling silent as they listened to the other’s heart beat and lungs breathe and held each other close knowing they wouldn’t have to deal with their nightmares alone anymore.

 

Two nights later Derek had a nightmare of the fire and hearing his family choke to death instead but Isaac was there and held him tight and let him cry. Because they are both broken boys, but they have each other to help them stay together.

 

 


End file.
